Carving the divide: Political polarization and family discussions at the Thanksgiving table
by Rachel Kuhn (class of ‘26)
As the turkey waits to be cut, everyone sits up straight in their seats for the “I’m thankful for” portion of the evening. Mimi begins: “We’re facing dangerous times, really dangerous. But I’m thankful for my grandchildren, who remind me that there’s still hope in this broken world.” Immediately after, Uncle Miles rolls his eyes and shoots his hand up: “I’m thankful for the victory of our great president — we’re finally putting this country back on track. The real change is just beginning!”
Happy Thanksgiving, I guess?
This year families across the nation will partake in Thanksgiving festivities with cheer and joy, sadness and concern, or… maybe a little bit of both. And there will undoubtedly be more than a few political conversations around the dinner table.
The latest poll from the Tufts Public Opinion Lab looks at how often individuals with a family member from a different political party talk about politics — and what those conversations are like. As it turns out, Republicans are more likely to engage in and reflect positively on political discussions with family members from the other side of the aisle than Democrats are. But the data can also give each side a way of better understanding of how their counterparts approach these conversations.
In the lead-up to the 2024 election, we surveyed 1,033 Americans, and found that 62 percent of Americans have at least one family member who supports the party opposite them.
Of that 62 percent, Republicans were much more likely to report having a family member from the opposing party, with 71 percent of Republicans having a family member in the opposing party compared to just 39 percent of Democrats. This finding is consistent with similar research done by Tufts Professors Deborah Schildkraut, Jeff Berry, and Jim Glaser, who found that Democrats were more likely than Republicans to report having a politically homogeneous social network. Their study showed that Democrats, more often than Republicans, engage in behaviors that promote such homogeneity such as blocking or unfriending someone on social media, or ending a friendship over conflicting political views. Not only do Democrats often go out of their way to promote homogeneity, but they try to steer clear of political division as often they can.
My analysis supports these results, finding that Democrats are less likely than Republicans to engage in political discussions with the opposing party family member. Three-fourths of Republicans who have a Democrat in their family report that they discuss politics with that family member, while just 55 percent of Democrats with a Republican family member report that they discuss politics with them. In other words, Republicans are 20 percentage points more likely to engage in discourse with the opposing party family member than Democrats, supporting the theory that Democrats tend to avoid discussions that undermine homogeneity.
Similarly, a 2023 Pew Research Center study found that Democrats are slightly more likely to describe their conversations with opposing party members as “stressful and frustrating” compared to Republicans. Perhaps, then, a political discussion with the opposing party for Democrats puts them in an emotionally vulnerable state more often than Republicans. Though, recent studies have shown that Republicans are actually more moderate than typically accounted for. This could mean that Republicans have more of a desire to find common ground with those they encounter from the opposing party. So, if Republicans are less likely to feel the need to avoid certain people in their daily lives, they may be less likely to avoid diverse political discussion or feel less intimidated by the idea of political division than Democrats.
I asked respondents how they would describe the quality of the conversation they had with their opposing party family member. The graph below shows how Republicans and Democrats responded.
Republicans tend to view political conversations with their family members of the opposing party more positively than Democrats. 58 percent of Republicans reported that they achieved a mutual understanding during their conversation, while only 25 percent of Democrats said the same. Maybe Democrats feel less understood than Republicans when it comes to political discussions with the opposing party. This could explain why Democrats were five times more likely than Republicans to report that no understanding was reached during their conversation.
Similarly, Democrats were found to be more likely than Republicans to view these conversations as contentious. 28 percent of Democrats viewed their conversation as contentious, while only 8 percent of Republicans felt similarly.
Regardless of where you lie on the political spectrum, we can learn a great deal about how to navigate these conversations at the dinner table on Thursday, and it is not just about exchanging opinions or arguments. Rather, it is about navigating and managing our interpersonal relationships.
These results show that Democrats find these conversations stressful and challenging. This might encourage Republicans to approach their political discussions in a more empathetic and patient way. And Democrats may learn that Republicans are often aiming to find common ground through these discussions rather than argue or fight. And that fact alone, the fact that we all want to find common ground, to hear the other person out, to catch up on the year and to eat some home cooked food might make it easier to approach political discussions in a more welcoming way.
So as you carve your turkey, gravy your potatoes, and scoop your stuffing, consider this: maybe Thanksgiving 2024 doesn’t have to be about avoiding the elephant (or donkey) in the room, but about engaging with it in a mindful and respectful way so we can all leave the table with a full stomach and something to be thankful for.
